Well I'm weighing in here after 1 and a half years post stroke. We have been married five years, second marriage for both. No children together. I have two teens living with us. He was 49 when he had the stroke, 45 when he had the heart attack. He was good for 2 years exercising and eating right and not smoking. Then he slipped gained weight, started smoking again and had a stroke. At first I was mad at him for making bad choices about his health. Now I have come to accept what has happened to my "new husband". Well he is not the man I said "I do" to. I feel more sad than guilty however because perhaps this could've been avoided. I will never know. But I ask you all why should I be condemned (and I mean this) to a sexless life of caregiving to someone who watches TV all day because he's too exhausted to do his therapy? You get what you give and I have no guilt because he gave up on his health and our marriage the day he started smoking again. Selfish choice but he was and is all about him. So I am going to be all about me. And so should you, because no one else is going to look out for you. Who wants to die a martyr anyhow?
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Hi I’m Clara. I’m actually 16 years old and I really need someone to talk to and advice. My parents have been seperated since I was two and they’ve always acted like children when it comes to custody, holidays, and insulting the other parent in front of me. I’m not beaten or starved, but I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to go over to my dads house anymore or at least every other weekend like I do now. He remarried ten years ago and had a child who is now four and I just don’t like being over there. He lives far from friends and I can’t really go anywhere on “his time”. The problem is they’re dangling things that my mother can’t provide over my head so that it feels like I can’t leave. They got me a car so now it feels like I just have to do whatever they say. The nicer they are to me the harder it is to tell them I just don’t want to be over there as much anymore. They don’t really understand my life outside of themselves and I know they’ll get upset because my father is an extremely emotional person. I need help and I feel trapped, guilty, and frustrated.